![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
I would have liked to think back then that we'd all still be there, Wardens together. That's what they always say, that a Warden is a Warden for life. But Velanna and Anders are both gone, of their own free will.
[A slight, helpless widening of his eyes.]
Sometimes I even miss Justice, but don't tell Anders that.
[A slight, helpless widening of his eyes.]
Sometimes I even miss Justice, but don't tell Anders that.
It must have been painful to lose them. I can't imagine it.
[ To lose a friend is one thing. To lose a brother-in-arms, even worse. ]
Did you know Justice well before...what happened with him and Anders? [ It's not so strange to her now that she knows Cole. ] What was he like?
[ To lose a friend is one thing. To lose a brother-in-arms, even worse. ]
Did you know Justice well before...what happened with him and Anders? [ It's not so strange to her now that she knows Cole. ] What was he like?
Anders was worse, I think. We always suspected Velanna would leave once she had no further use for us, but we'd really hoped Anders could find a place to call home. The templars wouldn't even let him have the Wardens, though.
[He huffs out a breath.]
Justice was intense. It took us a little time to get used to the fact that just because a spirit embodies a virtue doesn't mean they embody more than one. Or...have more than one. Justice nagged us all about things we'd done that we hadn't paid for, like when I broke into Vigil's Keep. Or the things we ought to be doing to set things right. He was...uncomplicated. Which was neither good nor bad. Erm.
[He thinks for a moment.]
He wasn't spiteful or vengeful. He was...single-minded.
[He huffs out a breath.]
Justice was intense. It took us a little time to get used to the fact that just because a spirit embodies a virtue doesn't mean they embody more than one. Or...have more than one. Justice nagged us all about things we'd done that we hadn't paid for, like when I broke into Vigil's Keep. Or the things we ought to be doing to set things right. He was...uncomplicated. Which was neither good nor bad. Erm.
[He thinks for a moment.]
He wasn't spiteful or vengeful. He was...single-minded.
Spirits often are. Cole is a spirit of Compassion, and he is driven to help others no matter what. Things have...changed since we first met him, when he came to us, but it was very single-minded. Uncomplicated.
[ Help others, even if it means killing them. Heal the hurt. ]
I've seen a spirit of Command, too. It was the same with her. She was more focused on commanding than understanding the logic - or lack thereof - of our world.
[ She pauses here. ]
Why did Anders leave the Wardens? Do you know?
[ Help others, even if it means killing them. Heal the hurt. ]
I've seen a spirit of Command, too. It was the same with her. She was more focused on commanding than understanding the logic - or lack thereof - of our world.
[ She pauses here. ]
Why did Anders leave the Wardens? Do you know?
You should have seen Tabris when she found out. She was livid. We all were, at ourselves as much as anyone. We should have protected him.
[I should have protected him.
Nathaniel hesitates, then clears his throat.]
I...failed him then. And I failed him in another way. It's why I can't hate him for what he did. I'm...the one who talked Justice into the idea of possessing a willing, living host in the first place. I didn't know he'd choose Anders.
[I should have protected him.
Nathaniel hesitates, then clears his throat.]
I...failed him then. And I failed him in another way. It's why I can't hate him for what he did. I'm...the one who talked Justice into the idea of possessing a willing, living host in the first place. I didn't know he'd choose Anders.
You didn't fail him. You didn't know any of this would happen.
[ If Cullen knew... It's not his place to know, certainly, but if he did-- Would he be able to understand why Anders despises the templars so much, why he is so frightened? Why all mages are? ]
And how could you have known that Justice would choose Anders? That isn't your fault either. Spirits are not foolish, Ser Howe; they know what will happen should they take a willing, breathing host.
[ If Cullen knew... It's not his place to know, certainly, but if he did-- Would he be able to understand why Anders despises the templars so much, why he is so frightened? Why all mages are? ]
And how could you have known that Justice would choose Anders? That isn't your fault either. Spirits are not foolish, Ser Howe; they know what will happen should they take a willing, breathing host.
I don't know if spirits are innocent. There are those who are aggressive and those that are non-aggressive...and spirits who are drawn to people, who reach across the Veil, are always at risk of being twisted by us.
Justice reaching out to Anders or anyone else was always at a risk of being twisted. It's less about the spirit and more about who we are and what we believe.
Justice reaching out to Anders or anyone else was always at a risk of being twisted. It's less about the spirit and more about who we are and what we believe.
Anders said that he is the one who corrupted Justice into a spirit of Vengeance. Which...
[A long, tense sigh.]
Vengeance sounds very demonish to me. Anders says Justice...doesn't let him do certain things, that he keeps him focused on the task of freeing the mages. Anything else is a distraction. Here, he is free only because he is here on a purpose Justice approves of. Which...the Justice I knew was insistent, but he was never a tyrant. He hated tyranny.
[A long, tense sigh.]
Vengeance sounds very demonish to me. Anders says Justice...doesn't let him do certain things, that he keeps him focused on the task of freeing the mages. Anything else is a distraction. Here, he is free only because he is here on a purpose Justice approves of. Which...the Justice I knew was insistent, but he was never a tyrant. He hated tyranny.
Edited 2015-04-24 22:33 (UTC)
[ Lavellan frowns, looking up at him. ]
Vengeance is a demon. Or, more specifically, a spirit whose purpose has been defiled or twisted beyond recognition. Justice's perception of what is just and what is right has been distorted because he's possessed Anders...or because he's witnessed things that have caused him to become this way.
Vengeance is a demon. Or, more specifically, a spirit whose purpose has been defiled or twisted beyond recognition. Justice's perception of what is just and what is right has been distorted because he's possessed Anders...or because he's witnessed things that have caused him to become this way.
[Nathaniel's eyes slide briefly shut.]
That's...what I was afraid of. I admit I don't know very much about the ways of magic and the Fade, but the way Anders speaks...
[He shakes his head.]
Tabris and I are going to find some way to separate them. Don't tell him I said that--I know you won't, but you must not. Who knows what...what Vengeance will do if he knows. Probably take Anders so far away we'll never find him again.
That's...what I was afraid of. I admit I don't know very much about the ways of magic and the Fade, but the way Anders speaks...
[He shakes his head.]
Tabris and I are going to find some way to separate them. Don't tell him I said that--I know you won't, but you must not. Who knows what...what Vengeance will do if he knows. Probably take Anders so far away we'll never find him again.
[ Separating the both of them? Admittedly, she knows very little of how to do such a thing. It could easily be disastrous. She wishes Solas were there; he'd know what to do, far more than she ever could. ]
I won't tell him.
[ And yet, even saying that, sounds like a betrayal. Anders will be furious. Her hand grips his arm tightly. ]
Please, be careful, whatever you do. It's not Justice or Anders that I fear, but what might happen in the process. Whatever you do - you and the Commander both - please take care.
I won't tell him.
[ And yet, even saying that, sounds like a betrayal. Anders will be furious. Her hand grips his arm tightly. ]
Please, be careful, whatever you do. It's not Justice or Anders that I fear, but what might happen in the process. Whatever you do - you and the Commander both - please take care.
Anders is...dear to us. [Dear to me.] I'm not entirely sure how much worse it could actually get for him, from what I've seen, but I'm...frankly, I'm afraid enough of magic and spirits that every caution that can be taken will be taken.
[He hestitates.]
I can't let him keep living like this. Alone, on the run, starving. But I'm responsible enough for that. I can't be responsible for making him worse. I won't be.
[He hestitates.]
I can't let him keep living like this. Alone, on the run, starving. But I'm responsible enough for that. I can't be responsible for making him worse. I won't be.
I trust Cole. He used to be a spirit; he would know better than anyone else how to separate them.
[ She takes a breath, stops. She isn't trying to push and resigns herself to leaving things as they are, though she wants to implore one last time. ]
I understand the precautions you want to take. I won't speak of it to Cole or to anyone. But I ask that you consider him as an option if - or when - you want to make a more decisive move in any one direction.
[ She takes a breath, stops. She isn't trying to push and resigns herself to leaving things as they are, though she wants to implore one last time. ]
I understand the precautions you want to take. I won't speak of it to Cole or to anyone. But I ask that you consider him as an option if - or when - you want to make a more decisive move in any one direction.
Cole doesn't even possess a body. How can he know how to end possession?
[Justice had been as clueless as anyone about possession. He'd always deemed it a thing for demons. But the question isn't simply rhetorical. Nathaniel frowns.]
But if he does...Maker. I could be denying the answer I'm looking for. Maker, what if my own caution is the end of Anders?
[Justice had been as clueless as anyone about possession. He'd always deemed it a thing for demons. But the question isn't simply rhetorical. Nathaniel frowns.]
But if he does...Maker. I could be denying the answer I'm looking for. Maker, what if my own caution is the end of Anders?
But he can feel things we cannot. He might just...know. There is another-- He's not here but he, too, might know. It's only an option.
[ She looks up, eyes sad, and she holds his arm gently. Lavellan reaches up to touch his arm. ]
This doesn't need to happen right away. For the moment, he's safe. He's all right.
[ She looks up, eyes sad, and she holds his arm gently. Lavellan reaches up to touch his arm. ]
This doesn't need to happen right away. For the moment, he's safe. He's all right.
Page 3 of 7